Enough!

Allow me to start this blurb by saying I have no idea why, but I feel it is of the utmost importance that I write it down. I can’t explain it, and I don’t know if I feel it is necessary for me alone or for the entire world or even just for a few people to read. All I know is that as soon as I was rescued and my eyes were opened, I ran to grab the computer… and that something deep inside me compelled me to write. That being said; I shall begin.

Have you ever had a nightmare so real you find yourself shaken to the core? All nightmares are horrific, sure, but I am talking about a different brand of nightmare. I’m talking about the kind of nightmare that is so think, so oppressive, so real it makes even your physical body sweat, and tremble, and the worst thing about this nightmare? You cannot wake up!!!

Unfortunately, I know all about this brand of nightmares and just a few hours ago, I was visited by one of the worst I have ever had. Now, don’t worry, I won’t get into all the gory, horrifying details (I think some things are meant only for the self.) But I will say this. Once the standard nightmare made the transition; my whole body felt pinned down (not in the dream, in real life) I couldn’t move, couldn’t really think straight and I was scared; point in fact, I was terrified.

So I did what we all try to do when nightmares assail; I tried to wake up. And for a moment there, I thought I had succeeded. I thought I had woken up at my mom’s house (not that I had even put two and two together mind you and realized that I had slept in my bed at home, next to my hubby all night, but I digress) and as I had been so mortified by the whole dream, I ran downstairs to tell her all about the dream and how scared I had felt. But when I walked into her room and started telling her the tale, she simply looked at me with empty eyes and began complaining about how old and ugly and out of place she was (by the way, if you have ever met my mom, you know neither of these things is even remotely true as she is stunning and livelier than most 30 year olds).

The second my “fake mother” said those words, the fear tried to grip me even tighter. But something strange happened then. The second I realized I was still in the nightmare, fighting for my life, a dormant part of me became alive. And she was calm, and collected, and strong, and she was ready to kick some butt. So, I turned away form my fake mom, and started to make my way toward the door when out of nowhere, two demons (there really is no better way to describe the ugly, insignificant things) came at me teeth bared and claws at the ready. Little did they know, however, that they were no longer dealing with a freight little Sapha. Oh no, this time, they were dealing with me! And so I easily disposed of them. It was a lovely feeling; knowing that I was protected. And that was the thing. See, this “me” knew she wasn’t alone; she knew she meant something, was something more than met the eye. This “me” felt the presence of God all around her, and declaring herself to be a daughter of The Most High, she simply disposed of the evil around her. And then, I took one look in the mirror, and saw ME. Not the self I have seen in pictures or in mirrors since I was a kid. No, this was I, and she was beautiful, and strong, and fearless, and she made me smile. I could have stayed there a while, talking to her; in fact I wanted to. Wanted to ask her why she was so different from “me” and what she thought, felt, etc. But no sooner had I seen her that we (both the reflection and the woman moving through this nightmare with authority) were off.

We made our way out of the room where the demons had once tried to assail us, and into what seemed to be the very core of my brain. It was a strange place, and got even stranger when we screamed at the very top of our lungs, “Enough!”

The whole room (or brain, or whatever it was) reverberated with the sound. “Enough!” we yelled again. “We will no longer cower in fear, nor will we hide from our selves, nor will we demean our selves or feel bad for ourselves.” Then more “mes” came around every corner of the brain and stared in shock. “We are enough! We are protected by God himself and we are no longer going to bow to the demons that assail us; they will run before us because we are protected. We are not petty, insignificant beings. We are protected. We are beautiful, strong gifted, talented, and we are protected.”

Then at that moment, a feeling of need overcame me. I felt I needed to write about this. I didn’t know why, it made no sense, but I needed to. So I tried to wake up again, and found I was still unable to completely come out of the dream, so I tried to cry out for help, but all that came out was a small whimper. But that whimper was heard by my husband, who ever so kindly woke me up, and hugged me until I had finally rejoined the world of the living again. He smiled gently and then went about his morning business as I ran for the computer to write this all down before I forgot (as we tend to forget dreams the second we wake up). I went for the computer in order to write this with no particular purpose, but knowing there was one I could not see. So if you are reading this and have been helped by it, then I am glad. If you read it and gained nothing, that is ok too. I don’t know whom this message is intended to, but I had to write it down. Now I have, and I am glad I did; for myself.

I would never want to forget that I am protected, that I am loved, that I am beautiful and strong and that I am done with misguided perceptions of myself. I am done!

If you read my very first blog. Then you know I have had quite the year, and that I have been fighting to change my perspective of myself for the better. You know that I have been fighting the eating disorder self and have been replacing it with a different outlook.

Well, the battle rages on inside me, and I am well armed. I am no longer a victim of “perception” I am simply ME. If the media thinks I am too fat to act, let them. If the world thinks I am weak and insignificant, let them. If I had forgotten myself along the way, no more! I remember now. I remember even more clearly than I did the day my angel showed me so much more than I knew. It was her guidance, and all that I learned that day that made the “me” in the dream that strong, that beautiful, that lively, and that “ME”.

Too long have I been ruled by others’ perceptions of me and the world around me. Too long have I forgotten that I am protected and that I matter. Too long have I forgotten the “me” inside. So, once more I cry out, “Enough!”

And when times come, where I begin to forget again, I shall count on God to send me angels, nightmares, etc. to wake me up again. It is all a part of the journey, and I am open to grace, so I am ready to take this journey where it may lead me. Are you?

"It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles." Buddha

Healthy Travels

As some of you know, traveling has now become a part of my routine. And, having been used to getting sick every time I came back or went on long trips (or even short trips, come to think if it), I became a sort of fanatic for trying to find ways to stay healthy while I travel. And, since I received a request from my bff Jess to write a blog about my "findings" I decided to comply and share the knowledge. I hope it helps.
The very first thing that you need to keep in mind when you travel is that you will be surrounded and sometimes even engrossed by stress and germs. So, the first thing you need to do is work on de-stressing and fortifying. (Oh, and please bring plenty of hand sanitizer along)
My number one recommendation is, of-course, doing yoga. If you are not an avid yogi already, then I recommend you try to do yoga for at least 45 to 60 minutes anywhere from three to six times per week. (I like to practice 6 days a week, but you know your own body better than anyone, so you be the judge for your own practice). If you haven't really been practicing and your trip is tomorrow, then go through a lovely heart opening and hip opening flow the day of your travel. (Since you will most likely be trapped in a tiny space for a while, the space you give your body before hand as you do your practice this day will be very important to keep you sane, relaxed, and stretched.)If you still feel like you don't have enough time to do this, then try to simply sit in meditation for a few minutes each day, and maybe add some breathing techniques through out your day, and through out your travels. (Research pranayama techniques online or ask a yogi for some tips on how to do this)
The next thing I have been doing to help my immune system out is incorporating more probiotics into my diet. (You can buy some at your local groceries store. Usually in the natural foods and vitamins isle) This helps because it aids your system to stay in balance, and balance is key to remain healthy. [More and more researchers are finding that probiotics are a great aid to your immune system, so give them a go :) they are excellent!] Keeping this in mind. I recommend that you begin taking your lovely probiotics at least a week or two before you travel. And I usually will take two every morning.
Also at the top of my list is drinking plenty of fluids. The closer it gets to "D"day, the more water I drink. The reason is, while you are up in the air, you will actually lose quite a substancial amount of water, so keeping hydrated is very important. For this same reason (and because you really shouldn't to begin with) it is not recommended to eat tons of greasy food before you leave. Instead, try to eat lots of yummy greens and fruits that will help boost your immune system [and for vain reasons, will also have you looking your best for all those pictures you are sure to be taking]
Try to incorporate healing items that will also boost your immune system into your cooking, or buy a couple of them as pills that you can take daily. Examples of these are: Tumeric, dill, garlic, cinnamon, coriander, cumin, ginger, elderberry, celery seeds, and the ever famous echinacea. Another great tip and help is to bring tea with you. (I recommend echinacea tea, green tea, and relaxing mixes from your favorite tea brands) This way, if you are mid-flight or mid-drive and you begin to feel a bit off or a bit of that annoying tingle in the back of your throat, you can ask the flight attendant (or stop at a gas station) for some hot water, and vuala, instant immune system boost and comfort :)
Also important (and easy to find in delicious fruits and veggies) are vitamins A, B2, B12, B6, Z, D and E. And, yes, you may also get these in pill form just to give your already good veggie eating habits a boost ;) Bringing a pack of Emergen-C or two with you is also highly recommended.
Eating properly at your destination, breathing and doing yoga are also key. So, remember, even vacations can be stressful and this is why you need to continue to stretch, relax, breathe and nurture your body.
As this is travel season, I trully hope all these tips have helped and wish all of you a safe journey wherever you may be traveling :)

Colds are a knokin'. Now what?

It is most definitely getting colder, and yes, when everyone around you is getting sick, you always run the risk of catching a cold, or the flu (even the healthiest, most athletic of people can catch these annoying diseases by the by). So, what should you do?

There are the standard, and pretty logical answers. You know; the "wash your hands every chance you get and carry disinfectant with you" and the "lots of vitamin C"  and the ever so popular "get lots of sleep and rest" but is there more you can do? The answer is YES, there is.
For starters, diminish the amount of greasy food you are consuming (nope, those fries will not help you get any healthier... I know, shoker)
Make sure you are eating PLENTY of green, leafy veggies (Some of my faves are, of course, kale and spinach. But there are plenty more leaves in the sea my friends, and they are all good for you, so do not neglect them... in fact, eat a ton of them) 
Sure, get a lot of vitamin C, but also, you need lots of vitamin A and B, so, either get some supplements, or, if you want to taste these healthy vitamins, get to juicing ;)
Have a nice, warm breakfast filled with fruits, and a bit of whole grains. (Believe me, there is nothing better)
You definitely want to rest; but, there are many ways in which to give your body  break (besides sleeping and napping). Take one or two restorative yoga classes a week for example. Or simple get some pranayama (breathing) or meditating going. Believe me, stress needs more than sleep to be defeated.

So, what if you have been doing all this and still manage to catch a "bug"?
Well, for starters, do not force yourself to go to the gym if you feel feverish, nauseous, weak or dizzy.
Do, however, make time to do some lovely pranayama, meditation and healing asaanas (In this case, colds come from too much Kapa, so you would do lots of back bends, inversions, heart openers, hip openers, balance and forward folds)
Also, the usual "chicken broth" (if you are a meat-etarian) or "veggie broth" (if you are a vegetarian, vengan, ovo-lacto or pescetarian)  will do wonders. But, be sure to add lots of dill, celery seeds,turmeric, ginger, cinnamon, coriander, cumin and garlic to the broth. [By the way, these spices are fantastic to add to your food on a regular basis as prevention as well, so go buy a ton of them]
Also, you want to drink lots of green tea, echinacea tea, ginger tea, chamomile tea, or elderberry tea [You can also get these in the form of pills and take them through out the day. I usually take two pills per meal.]
Did I mention garlic? because it is the best stuff!
Mushrooms! eat lots of mushrooms too. They are amazing! [I love sauteing them with earth balance and a ton of garlic. Then eating them while they are super hot, under the covers to sweat the sickness out]
Use a Neti Pot every morning, even if you are not sick. You will be super happy you did.
Yes, you do need tons and tons of sleep. So please, do not show up to work if you are a mess. You will only feel worst and you will also get everyone else sick... ew!

Well people, those are my "Sapha" tested tips ;) Hope they help you this season.

Stay warm. NAMASTE ♥

Happy Yogi Feet

I have to say, I am a huge fan of animated film, and one of my all time faves is "Happy Feet".
So naturally, when I saw that the new movie was coming out my first thought was, "Oh, goodness, please don't tell me they screwed everything up."
But alas, nothing was screwed up, in fact, everything was improved.
The movie was so lovely I think I cried tears of joy and sorrow and amazement throughout the whole thing. And it wasn't just that penguins are adorable (which they are), or that the songs were very well picked, or that Robin Williams is hysterically funny (which he is, by the way). What really touched me about this movie was the message behind it all.
[Note: If you have not yet seen the movie, you may want to watch it before reading this... or if you are like my bff Jess and you don't mind; read on luv ;)]
The whole movie felt so familiar to me. The message resonated so deeply in me because it is exactly how I see things. It is completely honest, and hopeful, and simple enough that we should all technically understand it.
See, the core message (or at least the message I walked away with) was that we are all one. [Very yogic, I know] We are all connected, we all depend on one another in one way or another and even the smallest, most seemingly insignificant of us can make a huge impact in everyone's lives.
It also speaks to the fact that we all, for the most part, forget all this. We tend to go through life ignoring one another, or mocking one another for being different. We even have a tendency to be selfish enough to turn away from one another even when we know we should help simply because we are afraid to show vulnerability.
It was simply amazing to me how every creature in this movie, even the humans, found it in them to participate in at least trying to help at one point or another in the movie. [Ok, the annoying birds may have been the exception to the rule, but there is always someone who simply refuses to see beyond group think or hatred in this world, so...] How they simply opened up their hearts and decided to take a chance. {Sure, some gave up, or were physically incapable to continue helping (e.g. humans having to leave because the snow storm took them far far away, and then turned the ocean to ice, which they could not get through)} But they all try to make a difference at one point or another, which is really lovely. The whole adventure was simply lovely.
It made me wonder what we could do, how we could all change the world if we ever even thought about how inter-connected we are, and about how we should all be there for one another.
It is a bit sad to know that most of us will never be able to break away from the group and think on our own, or let go of our egos to help some one in need, or be honorable enough to simply rescue a stranger at no benefit to our selves, or even that we will never be able to realize how singularly different and special we are as individuals and how we could all work as a whole.
The question of, "Can we as individuals make a difference?" "Can we see beyond our differences and our egos and simply see how incredible we all are?" "Can we honor our word, even when doing so may mean changing our perspective about something?" "Can we realize we are all one?"
I feel blessed to have seen the film. And it made my heart sing, and dance, and fly with joy from the very beginning to the very very end. I only hope that it impacts many. I hope one day we can all realize that these "differences" that we use to hurt and reject one another should be the same differences that could bring us all together.
And I will end this thought in progress (as I keep realizing how many things we need to learn daily... even from cartoons) I will end with this lovely, true quote:
"Human beings by nature want happiness and do not want suffering.  With that
feeling everyone tries to achieve happiness and tries to get rid of suffering, and everyone has the basic right to do this.  In this way, all here are the same, whether rich or poor, educated or uneducated, Easterner or Westerner, believer or non-believer, and within believers whether Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and so on.  Basically, from the viewpoint of real human value we are all the same."-- His Holiness the Dalai Lama, from "Kindness, Clarity, and Insight." 

Om Lokah Samastah Sukino Bhavantu

The Ahimsa Superhero

The Ahimsa Traveling Superhero

It is always a wonderful, yet slightly stressful situation to travel. Not only do you have to deal with the mess at the airport, but you also have to deal with sick people, angry people, drunk people, stinky people, and, well, just people (your self included). And this small toil becomes even greater when you have any type of dietary restriction because it isn’t always possible to get food where you go.

This being my very first year as a traveling yogi, and committed as I am to remaining ahimsa as far as eating a vegetarian diet to stay healthy, it has been an interesting experience to say the least.

The easy part was calling the airline and ordering a special menu for the long flights. I also took some other yogi’s advise into consideration and opted to bring my own snacks in case I got hungry and/or ended up in a place where nothing was available for me to consume. Nothing really complicated or stressful about it, as, thankfully, in many places in Europe, there are now more and more vegetarian options on the menu, which was very helpful, and for the places that didn’t have these options, well, there is always the standard salad to munch on, which is great.

But as the trip went on, I was about to be taught a lesson on ahimsa towards others, as well as (ironically enough, because I have been trying to get a yoga class ready about this topic) learning how to be a superhero for others.

On the third day of this amazing adventure that my family and I have been blessed to be able to embark upon, we were invited to the home of a very dear friend. We have made it a tradition of sorts, in fact, to always stop by her place when we visit the lovely St Petersburg because she is an amazingly gifted chef, and because she is also the sweetest human being you will ever meet.

So, I woke up knowing I would eat some fish (as fish is a big part of Russian cooking, and typically the main, superb dish at this lovely abode) and was at peace and happy with it. I was very excited to be going back to our friend’s house for some lovely company and yummy food.

As expected, the house was as lovely as I remembered, and our dearest, dearest friend was so very happy to see us J (I can assure your, we were just as happy to see her after so many years). It was hard not to smile and laugh, really. We all talked a while, and then proceeded to the table where this master of the kitchen had prepared the most beautiful banquet for us. It was a joy to simply hear her talk about how she had prepared the food, and how long it had taken her, or how much love she had put into every little detail. And as she begins serving the first course (a traditional sour soup) the thought that the soup might have been made with some kind of animal broth came to mind, but was quickly dismissed as our hostess told the story of the Russian soup, and then, the dreaded words no vegetarian, vegan, or ovo-lacto-pescetarian wants to hear… “It has pork” came out.

My heart dropped to the floor. My stomach churned with dislike, and my poor, poor mind was being torn apart. I can’t really explain what went on in my mind. All I can think to say is that all at once, I was in panic mode. Thinking about how I am Jewish and I haven’t had pork since I was six or seven, how I haven’t had meat in ten months, how I am allergic! to pork (not a break out into hives kind of allergy, but a, puke like crazy, get a migraine kind of allergy, which to me is just as bad, since my migraines tend to be horrid). I was simply a mess. A hot, stressed out mess. And I had a matter of seconds to make a choice. I could break my friend’s heart (mind you, she spend all her time, money, effort and love to prepare this banquet, and it was a banquet, just for us… she went out of her way in more ways than I could ever explain in mere words to do this for us) or, I could realize that there was another opportunity for me to be ahimsa toward someone I love. To be a “superhero” for someone who needed a different type of rescuing in her own home.

I looked at my mom (who was also mortified, as her Jewish nature was taking hold as well) I looked at my husband, who looked at me, pleading not to break her heart, and finally, I looked to my brother, who very calmly told me to take out the chunks of piggy off my plate.

Yes, the whole thing had me freaking out bad. And, although everything happened in a matter of seconds, it felt like a lifetime to me. I literally, somehow, had time to think about which ahimsa would be most important, and why. I had time to look at the whole situation through other people’s eyes, and after feeling all the love and all the care our friend had put into the whole thing, I smiled, took the actual meat chunks out of my plate, and ate the typical Russian soup.

I can see how this whole ordeal would make absolutely no sense to most people. In fact, by most people’s standards, I am being a whinny, crazy, drama queen who needs to get off her high horse and simply deal with life. But to someone like my mom (who by the way was also a superwoman this evening by eating the non-kosher soup with a smile on her face… man I love my mom, the woman is so brave) or like myself, this whole ordeal was simply beyond anything we ever imagined, or wanted to endure.

However, what I can say for the both of us; is that we love our friend so much, we were highly aware of what a refusal would have meant. We realized there are different ways of being kind, non-violent, pure, loving, and super.

Sure, the idea was killing us a bit, and lets not even talk about how our stomachs felt, but our souls and hearts were beyond fine; they were uplifted.

We were happy; felt honored, and had saved the day one more time.

It’s amazing what one can learn from life, if one is openhearted enough to learn.

One root of the tree has many ways to feed the whole tree.

OM SHANTI, SHANTI, SHANTI

Mochi Love

Hello all! :)
Wanted to share this delicious breakfast recipe with everyone. It is super delicious, healthy, and will hold hunger at bay for a while ;)

What you will need:
1pack of Mochi [flavor of your choice] (you can buy it at whole foods)
6 Strawberries
6  grapes
Dash of cinnamon
1/4 cupCoconut Milk
1 tbsp Honey
[*Note:Dash of tumeric and ginger (if you want to boost the immune system, or if you have a cold)]

What to do:
(This is the best part. It is super simple)

Gut the mochi into small squares (about 2 to 3 inches is good) and then place the pieces on a waffle maker. While the mochi molds and bakes away in your waffle maker, mix the strawberries, grapes, cinnamon, coconut milk and honey in a blender, magic bullet, etc. (anything that will blend). When the mochi is cooked, take out of waffle maker and drizzle the fruity sauce over it.

That's it!!!! Enjoy :)

The Not So Perfect, Wonderful Day

Ever have one of those days when every little thing seems to be completely and utterly ANNOYING?
Yeah, well, I was having one of those today.
To start with, I was harshly awakened by my overly loving dog, who decided to step all over me and then proceeded to nibble my nose (not bite, mind you, just nibble it enough to wake me up) and then continued to push my face around until I finally gave up, and led her to the backyard so she could take care of business while I tried to come back to life.
When I finally let her back in, I promptly discovered she was totally caked in dirt. So I took a deep breath and washed her up (or tried to wash her while she freaked and scratched me, a lot).
I then went to cook breakfast and managed (not that this is too uncommon by the way) to cut my finger! Thankfully, the cut wasn't too bad, so I simply washed it and moved on... except, two seconds later, I cut another finger :(.
I was running late to drop the crazy, yet lovely dog off so I could make it in time to teach my a.m. restorative yoga class and I got every red light, got cut off by rude people, and managed to hit a curb. [By now, I am having to seriously remind my-self to be present, be open to grace, and not kill anyone]
I finally dropped the little dog off, and ran to the class.
I hit traffic (of course) and suddenly began to laugh. Not a psychotic, "oh, boy, she has cracked" kind of laugh, but a genuine, "this is too funny not to laugh" kind of laugh and I felt great. I was aware of the throbbing on my cut fingers, and the one on the gash my dog left on my shoulder when I was washing her dirty self and I was highly aware of the jerk behind me, who refused to stop tailgating me; and somehow, the simple act of taking a step back, and opening up to grace had changed everything.
I was feeling lighter, happier, and just peaceful. And then, I arrived at the studio and realized I had left the house with out any shoes!!! My face quickly turned red with chagrin, but my head went "Oh, how cute, now you can walk in there with bare feet!"
So, I threw on some socks that happened to be in my car (yes, people, I am highly aware my car is a hot mess, but hey, it was useful today haha) and walked into the studio with a big old smile on my face.
You have to understand that by this point, my usual self would have been embarrassed, pissed, and simply drained of all self-confidence. That is just my usual reaction to these tinny annoyances in life.
So I was quite impressed at the fact that I felt none of these things as I set up my mat at the front of the classroom. I felt quite the opposite, actually. I felt happy, light hearted, confident, optimistic, and even a bit playful. So I used all these wonderful feelings to lead the class. And I have to say, it has been to date, the single most wonderful class I have taught. There was a wonderful energy in the classroom, and  all my little yogy students were brave and open to grace through the whole class. The class ended on such a happy note, I had forgotten all the crazy little inconveniences of the day, and had gone on to have the best day.
Work was lovely, lunch was easy, conversations were comfortable, I mean, the whole day had turned out to be a huge blessing. And then, I felt sickly. My stomach was churning, I wanted to pass out, I felt feverish, etc. I was so upset, I considered skipping my p.m yoga class (one being lead by a wonderful yogi) and simply passing out at home. But for some reason, every time I got up to go home, I simply sat back down, looked at my yoga mat and reconsidered. This little dance went on for a bit, until my mat finally won, and practically drove me, on its own, to the yoga studio. So I walked in happy and giddy again, because I had "showed up" and the class was so very comfortable, lovely, and all around wonderful to me. I was so focused, I really forgot there were other people around me and just followed my breath all the way through.
It is so amazing to me how the littlest things in our lives can make such a huge impact. I keep realizing day by day that it is all ok, all a part of life, all something we should be open to.
Sure, we will have days when that laugh will evade us, and when anger, loneliness, sadness, and a myriad of negative thoughts and emotions will be present in us. But it is what we chose to do with those moments, those emotions, that really matters. We can either choose to sink deeply into them (like Artax on "The Never Ending Story) (and yes, I went there) or, we can choose to push on, to open up to grace, and to be present. 
We can choose to have a not so perfect, wonderful day :)

NAMASTE

Read the Ingredients Lists

Ok, so, this Sunday, Eric and I went to Whole Foods to shop; and can I just say, I looooooove the place! It makes my life ten times simpler, and happier to know that most (if not all) of the products they sell are good and good for you. Is it  a bit more expensive? Sure, but hey, when you think about how you are helping to keep your body healthy by eating right so that you don't have to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars in Dr's bills later on, I'd say the few extra bucks are worth it.
That being said, however, I will admit, we do not shop there all the time (when there is no money, there is no money) so, when we don't shop at this heavenly place, all I do is pay extra close attention. I read the labels carefully (and yes, this does drive the hubby kinda nuts, but again, totally worth it) I make sure to buy seasonal produce, I buy the things that need to be organic, and I stock up on leafy greens.
So, since I know most people (me included) are not fully aware of what products or ingredients are hurting them, or what to avoid, or buy organic, etc, I have decided to put together a little list to help you shop :) The key thing to this is: READ THE INGREDIENTS LISTS! Because, I don't care how much a product boasts of "0" this or that, their goal, is not to be truthful to that little statement, it is to sell you the product. And these marketing companies know you are all dieting and looking for the latest fads out there like "low fat", "no fat" "fat free", etc. So, ignore the front, and go straight to the truth of the product (what it is really made of/the ingredients) 
Here are the lists :) Hope they can be of help to you too. [A good book to read to help with this too is "Skinny Bitch"]

Produce you MUST purchase ORGANIC: (these have a higher amount of pesticides than most produce items, so you should buy them organic)
-Peaches                -Kale
-Apples                  -Lettuce
-Bell Peppers         -Grapes
-Celery                   -Pears
-Nectarines            -Carrots
-Strawberries         -Cherries

11 Worst Food Additives (If you see any of these on the ingredients lists of whatever item you are looking at, even if it boasts to be healthy, put the item down, and walk, no, run away from it)
-Artificial Colors - Blue1, Blue2, Red3(erythrosine), Green3, Yellow5 (Tartrazine) and Yellow6
-Artificial Sweeteners - Acesulfame-K, Saccharin, Equal, Splenda, NutraSweet, Swee'NLow, sucralose, sorbitol and aspartame
-Benzoate (BHA) Preservatives and BHT Preservatives
-Brominated Vegetable Oil (BVO)
-Potassium Bromate
-Propylene Glycol and Propyl Gallate
-Sodium Nitrate and Sodium Nitrite
-Monosodium Glutamate (MSG)
-Olestra
-High-Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS)
-Partially Hydrogenated Oils

These are Five Healthy Sweeteners you should and can buy :)
-Evaporated Cane Sugar       
-Sucanant
-Stevia                  
-Maple Syrup
-Agave Nectar              
-Honey

Again, hope it helps :)
xoxo

Murky Waters Ahead

I don't know why, but I woke up wanting to be challenged today.
So, I found a nice little anusara class online (one that involved lots of hip openers) and began my practice. Little did I know how much would come to the surface because of this seemingly insignificant choice (to take this particular class). See, the hing is, I am not particularly fond of all hip openers (infact, I have a very thriving love/hate relationship with pigeon) but I also know that I really need more of them in my life, which was exactly what led me to pick this practice today.
The teacher (a lovely soul by the way) started class by telling a story, and by asking us all to be present, open up to grace, and say "yes" rahter than our usual "no". So, as we began, I kept reminding myself to really let go, be present, open up to grace, and say yes. And the practice felt beautiful, I kept thinking "I can do anything! I am super yogi!" and then, we came to pigeon... and the super yogi's brave heart skipped a beat. I immediately submerged myself in a lake of fear, anger, pain, resistance and resentment toward the teacher (for putting me in this crazy pose for so freaking long) and towards myself (for feeling all these things to begin with, when I was supposed to be saying yes).
So, I swam through this lake, and submerged myslef back into it all over again as we swithced to the other leg. It was horrible. I thought my hips were going to come out of their sockets, my anger and resistance kept escalating, and all I could do was think "breathe, maybe she will bring you to savasana once she is done torturing you" So I did, I breathed my way through the lake the second time, and came up for air when the teacher said to come out of the pose.
And then, just when I thought I was safe, shazzam! Eka Pada Sirsasana (modified, leading up to full expression) I was in that lake again. I was enjoying the pose, but I was so frustrated at who knows what, that I kept pushing the happy little girl inside me away, and giving way to the closed off grump instead. I really only let that little girl come out again when I realized I was pushing her away. (which was about half way through the pose) Once I did make room for her, Eka Pada Sirsasana became a joyful experience.
Don't worry, I won't walk you through the entire practice, because it will take too long. But I will say this, by the time we were done twisting and opening our hips, and we came to sitting meditation, I was no longer angry, frustrated, scared, or closed off. I was in a blissful world. I was peaceful, happy, open, and finally able to say "yes". Yes, I see now, yes, I am willing to let go, yes I am open and vulnerable and yes, I am.
Funny thing about this class, was, that I realized how I tend to do this in my daily life. I have a tendency to look at hardships as "evils" when in reality, they are simply there to help me reach a better place. I had, of course, heard a myriad of people explain this in many different ways before, and on some level, I thought I understood and mastered this concept. But the truth is, I realize now how clueless I have been.
So, yes, it sucks to be in a bad place, it is absolutely terrifying to go through anything that will cause even the slightest pang of pain. But if we learn to breathe, observe, open up to grace, and allow the true love and peace inside to come out, then the hardships become more of a polishing (like when you need to polish silver in order to let the silvery item shine bright and clean).
And if we really learn to find a way through the murky, painful waters, we are able to swim out of them, and onto a world of possibilities, love, forgiveness, growth, and an infinite iridescence that comes from with in to guide us through the next patch of murky waters.

Easier said than done? Sure, but that is why we practice ;)

भर्गो देवस्य धीमहि ।

Who needs a magic carpet, when you have a yoga mat?

So this weekend, I had the pleasure and honor of practicing with the great Doug Swenson, and with a group of incredible yogis and yoginis :)
I have to say, I had no idea what to expect from this weekend, so I decided to go in just as I was, with no expectations, simply open to grace. And I am glad I did, because this weekend was simply wonderful.
I have always been fascinated by fantasy, adventure, etc. Which is one of the many reasons why "Aladdin" is one of my all time favorite Disney movies. And today, after a heart warming, really invigorating Ashtanga with Doug, I decided to listen to "A Whole New World" on my way back home (you know the song if you have seen the movie), and then it hit me. 
My magic carpet ride began the second I opened my yoga mat and began my practice in earnest. Only, I didn't realize it until recently. I have commenced my very own adventure, and  I have to say, so far, it has been a wondrous ride. "Every moment red-letter" says the song, haha, well I agree! :)
It hasn't got anything to do with the asanas, well, let me take that back, because the asanas are also a very crucial part of it; so I will rephrase.... Sure, the asanas have been a big part of the adventure(a fun, challenging and very rewarding part), but there have also been seven other wonderful aspects to this adventure of mine, to this beautiful yoga tree I have planted in the ground.
A world, "...shinning, shimmering, splendid..." this beautiful song says. And boy is it true. To look at the world from the edges of my mat has made such a big difference in my life. I mean, the fact that I could partner up, with pretty much any one in the studio with complete trust, already says something about me has completely changed (because not too long ago, I would never have let even the teachers come near me. I just would not have trusted anyone. Not one bit)
"...take you wonder by wonder..." also a part of the song, and also, such a true part about my personal yoga practice. It's been so interesting, finding a way to take all I learn in the four corners of my mat and take it into the world. To be able to see things differently, to know I can choose to do or not do, whatever. A wonder, the feelings that come out after a practice, the tears of happiness, the love, the utter peace and simple quiet. 
"...when did you last let your heart decide?..." The last line that really brought it home for me today. Because for as long as I can remember, I have been putting me (not the actress me, not the wife, the daughter, sister, coworker, etc. but the real ME) aside. Not really listening, not really feeling, not really opening up. But, as you have read from my previous blog, this all started to change for me this year; and it continues to change, and ebb, and flow (much like the flow of a vinyasa) and morph and grow, and open, and I have to say, I can not get enough of it. It has been wonderful, and I know that there is more coming, more magic, more love, more trust, more adventure, more pixie dust, and just... MORE.
So, who needs a magic carpet; when you have a yoga mat? 

OM SHANTI ♥

Sapha's Healthy French Toast Recipe!!!

Ok, so, I won't lie, I a pretty excited today.
Doug Swenson is coming tot Cherry Blossom this weekend and I am going to have the honor of attending three of his amazing workshops!!! YAY YOGA!!!!
So, since I am betting I will need tons of energy, and also just because I feel happy, I decided to skip the usual breakfast (which btw is quite yummy) and make myself a special treat... French Toast!!! But not just any french toast, my very own Healthy, Vegan French Toast!!!!
So, with out further a due, I give you, yummyness :) Enjoy

What you will need:
Yogi Granola Crisps (whatever flavor you desire, I used strawberry)
Whole wheat bread
1 small organic apple
4 strawberries
1/3 cup of coconut milk
2/3 almond milk (original or vanilla, your choice)
1/4 tsp cinamon
3/4 tsp organic evaporated cane juice sugar
1/4 tsp organic vanilla extract
1tbsp earth balance

Batter:
In a blender (or magic bullet) add the apple, strawberries, coconut milk, cinnamon, cane sugar, almond milk and vanilla extract. [Make sure its not chunky]

*Crush the yogi crisps into tinny little pieces
*Place a bit of the earth balance on a pan and heat till melted (add rest of earth balance as needed)
Get Cooking:
Once the batter is ready, take it out of the blender and place it in a bowl. Then soak the whole wheat bread in it, than take the slice of bread out, and either sprinkle the yogi crisps on top, or smash one side onto the crisps for more fun ;).
Then, place the bread onto the skillet and flip once its nice and brown on first side. Once both sides are brown and ready, take them out :)

Ok, so, you see, it is quite simple and I must say, very very yummy. Bon Apetit

In Honor of Breasts Everywhere

Ok people. As you all know (unless you have been living under a rock) October is breast cancer awareness month. So, in honor of breasts everywhere, I am recommending some pretty awesome deodorants with... wait for it... NO ALUMINUM in them!!!! Can you say, "boob love"?
Ok, lets start:

*****Totally Pure Deodorant by Origins - This little wonder got me through several days of intense heat    in DisneyWorld FL and also in the Bahammas and the Caribbean, thank you very much :). The best part was people actually telling me how nice I smelled and how they wanted to know the name of my perfume (little did they know, I was wearing no perfume hahaha)
Highly, highly recommended!!!! FIVE STARS and way Boobie friendly :)


****Aromaco Deodorant by LUSH - Also fantastic. And I find the best thing to do with this is, to add some "The Greeench Deodorant Powder" or "Coconut Deodorant Powder" on top of it, this combo is way, way effective 


***T'eo Deodorant by LUSH - So incredibly good, even the hubby likes to wear it every now and then ;)

**Alba Deodorant Sticks - These are great, but I found that mine stopped working quite as effectively as before after about 4 months. Still would recommend though

*Lavalin - ok, here is the deal. I have heard that for some people, this deodorant can work for up to seven days straight with out needing to reapply. I am sad to say, I am not one of those people, because in my case, although I gave it a good month's try, it seemed to just make things even, dare I say it, stinkier! So, if you are brave, give it a go. Who knows, you may be one of those seven day people

Ok people, those are my recommendations to help save your lovely breasts and keep you smelling lovely all day. Hope you like them, and don't forget, if you love your boobs, avoid aluminum!

XOXO

Morphing Perspectives

I'm amazed by the change my life has taken this year. Amazed and incredibly thankful.
Exactly a year ago, I was having full on panic attacks on a pretty regular basis. I was insecure, self-conscious,  angry, afraid and all around, a flipping hot mess.
I had no idea where my life was headed (and had an early mid-life crisis because of this). I was pretty much always in a horrible mood (and letting everyone around me know it) and I was making it a point to avoid all mirrors and/ or reflective surfaces of all kinds, to say nothing of avoiding clothing stores all together, so as not to want to punch the creators of size "0".
Now, I could go on a three freaking page rant about how the media has damaged my very fragile self-image, and how every time I look at a magazine, movie, or clothing catalog, I want to rip my body open and scrape every ounce of fat off so I can look like "them". But I simply don't want to.
Not that I don't firmly believe society has taken its little search for perfection too far, because I most certainly do, and I really do feel sickened by it; but the truth of the matter is, I FINALLY find that none of it truly matters the way I though it did for so long.
Funny, I still can't believe I am typing this, but it happens to be true; so true, it makes my heart flutter with a joy it has not felt in a very long time.
So, how did I go from being your average yo-yo dieter/eating disorder ridden little girl to being... well, a truer version of the real me? Frankly, I can't pinpoint one single moment or event. All I can say, is that I decided to "morph my perspective" of things.
That may sound wishy washy to you, but the thing is, it really is true.
The first step I took, was to stop obsessing over the number on the scale. I stopped the daily voices of "Look how fat you are", "You need to starve to lose weight", "If you are going to eat that, you need to do at least five hours of cardio", etc and I changed them to: "Lets eat healthy" and "I want to be able to live life to the fullest, no sickness, no worries, just live it" and "Scale? What is that?"
I also discovered the most amazing jewel in the world, and I took it, to make it mine. Yoga.
And I devoted myself to it. (or so I thought) Practicing twice a day, urgently wanting to move on from being a beginner to at least an intermediate practitioner. I even woke up one morning thinking, "Wow, I could really go for an egg plant sandwich right now" (which for those who don't know me, was very rare until this year, because I was an Atkins girl. I was meat, meat, and meat all the way, I loved meat), and so I looked up what yogis ate and discovered, most yogis were vegan or vegetarian [insert light-bulb moment please] and so, I decided, I would become a ovo-lacto-pescetarian and be as light as possible for my practice. And so began my journey. And pretty soon, I began to notice a difference. I was no longer anxiety ridden (mind you, this also had a TON to do with my wonderful brother hiring me to work for him, because my other job had literally been killing me) I was less grouchy, I was not sickly anymore, I was stronger, felt lighter, happier, and more confident. I truly couldn't believe how great I was feeling. And I thought I had it all perfectly in hand form that moment on. [Little did I know how I would be tested]
The funny thing was, once I thought I had mastered the little voices inside my head, once I was confident and healthy, and, yes, a little cocky, I came across a beautiful actress, at a movie premier, and then my world came crushing down around me. All my voices came slamming right back! My confidence went out the window, my body forgot all I had been teaching it though my yoga practice, and so did my mind and soul. It was like I was being devoured by it all! I immediately attacked myself, "See, that is how skinny an actress needs to be. That is why you never get cast.", "If you were that poised, and slender, you would be able to get that movie" "You are fat!" "Why are you standing there!, run! burn calories! go!" "I bet you she can act better than you" "Look how gorgeous she is. You look like a rat next to her! and she is so much more the embodiment of movies than you are" And then, the tension began, I wanted to hide, wanted to run out of the event, wanted to disappear, wanted to starve or diet again, instead of eating grains, and legumes (because they had surely made me even fatter with out me even knowing it). It was awful. All my "work" all I thought I had overcome, all of it, came back to haunt me, and it completely broke me. In fact, I put myself through such a horrible mess, that I made myself sick. And not just any sick, I am talking full-on fever, throat infection, flu, kinda sick.
And yes people, we can make our selves sick.
So, after the "run-in" I went back to my hotel to cry desperately until a little voice in my head went, "Enough!" "You are enough!" "You don't need to be any one else" "YOU are a beautiful, loving, talented, amazing woman, and you do not deserve this abuse. You deserve better." "You deserve to love yourself just the way you are" and with that, I took a deep breath, did some asanas, and went to sleep.
But the damage had been done, I had mentally harassed myself to the point of sickness, so, I woke up feeling rotten, and was forced to stay in my hotel room (mind you, I was in the beautiful Dominican Rpublic, conducting interviews for Poema de Salvación, which was a lot of fun!)
But God sent me an angel. (She knows who she is, but just for confidentiality purposes, I will only call her "angel" in this post). I had only met Angel two days before, but I instantly loved her. She is the kind of woman who lights up a whole room just by showing up and smiling, and I knew instantly that we would hit it off. So, I was very relieved to know that she would stay with me, and care for me while I was sick. But I had no idea, she was going to be the biggest gift for me this year.
In my sickly delirium, Angel and I got to talking (and crying) quite a bit. In fact, we talked (and cried) all day long. And she saw the broken person in me. I don't know how, but she saw the reason for the sickness (not only the physical sickness, mind you) and she confronted me about it. Well, more accurately, she opened my eyes to reality.
Staring with the fact that, as much as yoga really had helped me, I was still approaching it as a crutch, much the same way I could have chosen to use P90X or Slim in 6 to lose weight. Sure, I was opening up to grace and really letting the philosophy touch me at a deeper level, but the thing was, I still needed to morph my perspective even deeper. I needed to let go completely, not just a little bit. So, Angel, took me over to a full-bodied mirror, and, yes, you guessed it, she made me take a hard look at myself, and boy, do I have to tell you, that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But once I was done fighting it, once I truly opened up to it and simply let go, a calm swept over me, a calm that has followed me ever since.
I don't know how to explain it, and I do apologize for the length of the tale, but truthfully, this is the cliff notes version, so, yeah. But I digress, it was a wonderful moment that made me realize, everything happens for a reason, and morphing our perspective (really changing how we perceive things, and not just pretending that we do) really can change our lives.
It is all about choosing to really let go of the negative things in our lives, and really looking at our true selves with loving eyes. The moment we shift our perspective, the world changes, and we can begin to change along with it.
No longer did I see my yoga as a way to lose weight, but I began to see if for what it truly was, a way to bring body, mind and spirit together, a way to change myself and the world around me, a way to truly live. From this moment on, I loved my-self, and decided to listen to my-self, truly listen.
So, instead of forcing my-self to become an"intermediate" or "advanced" practitioner, I decided to simply listen to my body, and realized that the asanas are only one limb of the beautiful yoga tree that I have decided to cultivate.
The same went for the food. No longer was it a matter of "oh, I do yoga and yogis eat this", it had actually become something my body asked for. I had listend to my body, and realized, it liked veggies, it liked being a vegetarias, and it liked feeling healthy, so I listened, and have kept on listening ever since.
Now, I won't lie, I am human and still have my insecure, "bad inner voices" moments, but I can catch my-self more easily now, and I can change my perspective more creatively than I could before.
So, yes, I am still growing, and I love that. I am still learning, and will continue to morph as time goes by.

NAMASTE