Ever have one of those days when every little thing seems to be completely and utterly ANNOYING?
Yeah, well, I was having one of those today.
To start with, I was harshly awakened by my overly loving dog, who decided to step all over me and then proceeded to nibble my nose (not bite, mind you, just nibble it enough to wake me up) and then continued to push my face around until I finally gave up, and led her to the backyard so she could take care of business while I tried to come back to life.
When I finally let her back in, I promptly discovered she was totally caked in dirt. So I took a deep breath and washed her up (or tried to wash her while she freaked and scratched me, a lot).
I then went to cook breakfast and managed (not that this is too uncommon by the way) to cut my finger! Thankfully, the cut wasn't too bad, so I simply washed it and moved on... except, two seconds later, I cut another finger :(.
I was running late to drop the crazy, yet lovely dog off so I could make it in time to teach my a.m. restorative yoga class and I got every red light, got cut off by rude people, and managed to hit a curb. [By now, I am having to seriously remind my-self to be present, be open to grace, and not kill anyone]
I finally dropped the little dog off, and ran to the class.
I hit traffic (of course) and suddenly began to laugh. Not a psychotic, "oh, boy, she has cracked" kind of laugh, but a genuine, "this is too funny not to laugh" kind of laugh and I felt great. I was aware of the throbbing on my cut fingers, and the one on the gash my dog left on my shoulder when I was washing her dirty self and I was highly aware of the jerk behind me, who refused to stop tailgating me; and somehow, the simple act of taking a step back, and opening up to grace had changed everything.
I was feeling lighter, happier, and just peaceful. And then, I arrived at the studio and realized I had left the house with out any shoes!!! My face quickly turned red with chagrin, but my head went "Oh, how cute, now you can walk in there with bare feet!"
So, I threw on some socks that happened to be in my car (yes, people, I am highly aware my car is a hot mess, but hey, it was useful today haha) and walked into the studio with a big old smile on my face.
You have to understand that by this point, my usual self would have been embarrassed, pissed, and simply drained of all self-confidence. That is just my usual reaction to these tinny annoyances in life.
So I was quite impressed at the fact that I felt none of these things as I set up my mat at the front of the classroom. I felt quite the opposite, actually. I felt happy, light hearted, confident, optimistic, and even a bit playful. So I used all these wonderful feelings to lead the class. And I have to say, it has been to date, the single most wonderful class I have taught. There was a wonderful energy in the classroom, and all my little yogy students were brave and open to grace through the whole class. The class ended on such a happy note, I had forgotten all the crazy little inconveniences of the day, and had gone on to have the best day.
Work was lovely, lunch was easy, conversations were comfortable, I mean, the whole day had turned out to be a huge blessing. And then, I felt sickly. My stomach was churning, I wanted to pass out, I felt feverish, etc. I was so upset, I considered skipping my p.m yoga class (one being lead by a wonderful yogi) and simply passing out at home. But for some reason, every time I got up to go home, I simply sat back down, looked at my yoga mat and reconsidered. This little dance went on for a bit, until my mat finally won, and practically drove me, on its own, to the yoga studio. So I walked in happy and giddy again, because I had "showed up" and the class was so very comfortable, lovely, and all around wonderful to me. I was so focused, I really forgot there were other people around me and just followed my breath all the way through.
It is so amazing to me how the littlest things in our lives can make such a huge impact. I keep realizing day by day that it is all ok, all a part of life, all something we should be open to.
Sure, we will have days when that laugh will evade us, and when anger, loneliness, sadness, and a myriad of negative thoughts and emotions will be present in us. But it is what we chose to do with those moments, those emotions, that really matters. We can either choose to sink deeply into them (like Artax on "The Never Ending Story) (and yes, I went there) or, we can choose to push on, to open up to grace, and to be present.
We can choose to have a not so perfect, wonderful day :)
NAMASTE
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