Enough!

Allow me to start this blurb by saying I have no idea why, but I feel it is of the utmost importance that I write it down. I can’t explain it, and I don’t know if I feel it is necessary for me alone or for the entire world or even just for a few people to read. All I know is that as soon as I was rescued and my eyes were opened, I ran to grab the computer… and that something deep inside me compelled me to write. That being said; I shall begin.

Have you ever had a nightmare so real you find yourself shaken to the core? All nightmares are horrific, sure, but I am talking about a different brand of nightmare. I’m talking about the kind of nightmare that is so think, so oppressive, so real it makes even your physical body sweat, and tremble, and the worst thing about this nightmare? You cannot wake up!!!

Unfortunately, I know all about this brand of nightmares and just a few hours ago, I was visited by one of the worst I have ever had. Now, don’t worry, I won’t get into all the gory, horrifying details (I think some things are meant only for the self.) But I will say this. Once the standard nightmare made the transition; my whole body felt pinned down (not in the dream, in real life) I couldn’t move, couldn’t really think straight and I was scared; point in fact, I was terrified.

So I did what we all try to do when nightmares assail; I tried to wake up. And for a moment there, I thought I had succeeded. I thought I had woken up at my mom’s house (not that I had even put two and two together mind you and realized that I had slept in my bed at home, next to my hubby all night, but I digress) and as I had been so mortified by the whole dream, I ran downstairs to tell her all about the dream and how scared I had felt. But when I walked into her room and started telling her the tale, she simply looked at me with empty eyes and began complaining about how old and ugly and out of place she was (by the way, if you have ever met my mom, you know neither of these things is even remotely true as she is stunning and livelier than most 30 year olds).

The second my “fake mother” said those words, the fear tried to grip me even tighter. But something strange happened then. The second I realized I was still in the nightmare, fighting for my life, a dormant part of me became alive. And she was calm, and collected, and strong, and she was ready to kick some butt. So, I turned away form my fake mom, and started to make my way toward the door when out of nowhere, two demons (there really is no better way to describe the ugly, insignificant things) came at me teeth bared and claws at the ready. Little did they know, however, that they were no longer dealing with a freight little Sapha. Oh no, this time, they were dealing with me! And so I easily disposed of them. It was a lovely feeling; knowing that I was protected. And that was the thing. See, this “me” knew she wasn’t alone; she knew she meant something, was something more than met the eye. This “me” felt the presence of God all around her, and declaring herself to be a daughter of The Most High, she simply disposed of the evil around her. And then, I took one look in the mirror, and saw ME. Not the self I have seen in pictures or in mirrors since I was a kid. No, this was I, and she was beautiful, and strong, and fearless, and she made me smile. I could have stayed there a while, talking to her; in fact I wanted to. Wanted to ask her why she was so different from “me” and what she thought, felt, etc. But no sooner had I seen her that we (both the reflection and the woman moving through this nightmare with authority) were off.

We made our way out of the room where the demons had once tried to assail us, and into what seemed to be the very core of my brain. It was a strange place, and got even stranger when we screamed at the very top of our lungs, “Enough!”

The whole room (or brain, or whatever it was) reverberated with the sound. “Enough!” we yelled again. “We will no longer cower in fear, nor will we hide from our selves, nor will we demean our selves or feel bad for ourselves.” Then more “mes” came around every corner of the brain and stared in shock. “We are enough! We are protected by God himself and we are no longer going to bow to the demons that assail us; they will run before us because we are protected. We are not petty, insignificant beings. We are protected. We are beautiful, strong gifted, talented, and we are protected.”

Then at that moment, a feeling of need overcame me. I felt I needed to write about this. I didn’t know why, it made no sense, but I needed to. So I tried to wake up again, and found I was still unable to completely come out of the dream, so I tried to cry out for help, but all that came out was a small whimper. But that whimper was heard by my husband, who ever so kindly woke me up, and hugged me until I had finally rejoined the world of the living again. He smiled gently and then went about his morning business as I ran for the computer to write this all down before I forgot (as we tend to forget dreams the second we wake up). I went for the computer in order to write this with no particular purpose, but knowing there was one I could not see. So if you are reading this and have been helped by it, then I am glad. If you read it and gained nothing, that is ok too. I don’t know whom this message is intended to, but I had to write it down. Now I have, and I am glad I did; for myself.

I would never want to forget that I am protected, that I am loved, that I am beautiful and strong and that I am done with misguided perceptions of myself. I am done!

If you read my very first blog. Then you know I have had quite the year, and that I have been fighting to change my perspective of myself for the better. You know that I have been fighting the eating disorder self and have been replacing it with a different outlook.

Well, the battle rages on inside me, and I am well armed. I am no longer a victim of “perception” I am simply ME. If the media thinks I am too fat to act, let them. If the world thinks I am weak and insignificant, let them. If I had forgotten myself along the way, no more! I remember now. I remember even more clearly than I did the day my angel showed me so much more than I knew. It was her guidance, and all that I learned that day that made the “me” in the dream that strong, that beautiful, that lively, and that “ME”.

Too long have I been ruled by others’ perceptions of me and the world around me. Too long have I forgotten that I am protected and that I matter. Too long have I forgotten the “me” inside. So, once more I cry out, “Enough!”

And when times come, where I begin to forget again, I shall count on God to send me angels, nightmares, etc. to wake me up again. It is all a part of the journey, and I am open to grace, so I am ready to take this journey where it may lead me. Are you?

"It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles." Buddha

Healthy Travels

As some of you know, traveling has now become a part of my routine. And, having been used to getting sick every time I came back or went on long trips (or even short trips, come to think if it), I became a sort of fanatic for trying to find ways to stay healthy while I travel. And, since I received a request from my bff Jess to write a blog about my "findings" I decided to comply and share the knowledge. I hope it helps.
The very first thing that you need to keep in mind when you travel is that you will be surrounded and sometimes even engrossed by stress and germs. So, the first thing you need to do is work on de-stressing and fortifying. (Oh, and please bring plenty of hand sanitizer along)
My number one recommendation is, of-course, doing yoga. If you are not an avid yogi already, then I recommend you try to do yoga for at least 45 to 60 minutes anywhere from three to six times per week. (I like to practice 6 days a week, but you know your own body better than anyone, so you be the judge for your own practice). If you haven't really been practicing and your trip is tomorrow, then go through a lovely heart opening and hip opening flow the day of your travel. (Since you will most likely be trapped in a tiny space for a while, the space you give your body before hand as you do your practice this day will be very important to keep you sane, relaxed, and stretched.)If you still feel like you don't have enough time to do this, then try to simply sit in meditation for a few minutes each day, and maybe add some breathing techniques through out your day, and through out your travels. (Research pranayama techniques online or ask a yogi for some tips on how to do this)
The next thing I have been doing to help my immune system out is incorporating more probiotics into my diet. (You can buy some at your local groceries store. Usually in the natural foods and vitamins isle) This helps because it aids your system to stay in balance, and balance is key to remain healthy. [More and more researchers are finding that probiotics are a great aid to your immune system, so give them a go :) they are excellent!] Keeping this in mind. I recommend that you begin taking your lovely probiotics at least a week or two before you travel. And I usually will take two every morning.
Also at the top of my list is drinking plenty of fluids. The closer it gets to "D"day, the more water I drink. The reason is, while you are up in the air, you will actually lose quite a substancial amount of water, so keeping hydrated is very important. For this same reason (and because you really shouldn't to begin with) it is not recommended to eat tons of greasy food before you leave. Instead, try to eat lots of yummy greens and fruits that will help boost your immune system [and for vain reasons, will also have you looking your best for all those pictures you are sure to be taking]
Try to incorporate healing items that will also boost your immune system into your cooking, or buy a couple of them as pills that you can take daily. Examples of these are: Tumeric, dill, garlic, cinnamon, coriander, cumin, ginger, elderberry, celery seeds, and the ever famous echinacea. Another great tip and help is to bring tea with you. (I recommend echinacea tea, green tea, and relaxing mixes from your favorite tea brands) This way, if you are mid-flight or mid-drive and you begin to feel a bit off or a bit of that annoying tingle in the back of your throat, you can ask the flight attendant (or stop at a gas station) for some hot water, and vuala, instant immune system boost and comfort :)
Also important (and easy to find in delicious fruits and veggies) are vitamins A, B2, B12, B6, Z, D and E. And, yes, you may also get these in pill form just to give your already good veggie eating habits a boost ;) Bringing a pack of Emergen-C or two with you is also highly recommended.
Eating properly at your destination, breathing and doing yoga are also key. So, remember, even vacations can be stressful and this is why you need to continue to stretch, relax, breathe and nurture your body.
As this is travel season, I trully hope all these tips have helped and wish all of you a safe journey wherever you may be traveling :)

Colds are a knokin'. Now what?

It is most definitely getting colder, and yes, when everyone around you is getting sick, you always run the risk of catching a cold, or the flu (even the healthiest, most athletic of people can catch these annoying diseases by the by). So, what should you do?

There are the standard, and pretty logical answers. You know; the "wash your hands every chance you get and carry disinfectant with you" and the "lots of vitamin C"  and the ever so popular "get lots of sleep and rest" but is there more you can do? The answer is YES, there is.
For starters, diminish the amount of greasy food you are consuming (nope, those fries will not help you get any healthier... I know, shoker)
Make sure you are eating PLENTY of green, leafy veggies (Some of my faves are, of course, kale and spinach. But there are plenty more leaves in the sea my friends, and they are all good for you, so do not neglect them... in fact, eat a ton of them) 
Sure, get a lot of vitamin C, but also, you need lots of vitamin A and B, so, either get some supplements, or, if you want to taste these healthy vitamins, get to juicing ;)
Have a nice, warm breakfast filled with fruits, and a bit of whole grains. (Believe me, there is nothing better)
You definitely want to rest; but, there are many ways in which to give your body  break (besides sleeping and napping). Take one or two restorative yoga classes a week for example. Or simple get some pranayama (breathing) or meditating going. Believe me, stress needs more than sleep to be defeated.

So, what if you have been doing all this and still manage to catch a "bug"?
Well, for starters, do not force yourself to go to the gym if you feel feverish, nauseous, weak or dizzy.
Do, however, make time to do some lovely pranayama, meditation and healing asaanas (In this case, colds come from too much Kapa, so you would do lots of back bends, inversions, heart openers, hip openers, balance and forward folds)
Also, the usual "chicken broth" (if you are a meat-etarian) or "veggie broth" (if you are a vegetarian, vengan, ovo-lacto or pescetarian)  will do wonders. But, be sure to add lots of dill, celery seeds,turmeric, ginger, cinnamon, coriander, cumin and garlic to the broth. [By the way, these spices are fantastic to add to your food on a regular basis as prevention as well, so go buy a ton of them]
Also, you want to drink lots of green tea, echinacea tea, ginger tea, chamomile tea, or elderberry tea [You can also get these in the form of pills and take them through out the day. I usually take two pills per meal.]
Did I mention garlic? because it is the best stuff!
Mushrooms! eat lots of mushrooms too. They are amazing! [I love sauteing them with earth balance and a ton of garlic. Then eating them while they are super hot, under the covers to sweat the sickness out]
Use a Neti Pot every morning, even if you are not sick. You will be super happy you did.
Yes, you do need tons and tons of sleep. So please, do not show up to work if you are a mess. You will only feel worst and you will also get everyone else sick... ew!

Well people, those are my "Sapha" tested tips ;) Hope they help you this season.

Stay warm. NAMASTE ♥

Happy Yogi Feet

I have to say, I am a huge fan of animated film, and one of my all time faves is "Happy Feet".
So naturally, when I saw that the new movie was coming out my first thought was, "Oh, goodness, please don't tell me they screwed everything up."
But alas, nothing was screwed up, in fact, everything was improved.
The movie was so lovely I think I cried tears of joy and sorrow and amazement throughout the whole thing. And it wasn't just that penguins are adorable (which they are), or that the songs were very well picked, or that Robin Williams is hysterically funny (which he is, by the way). What really touched me about this movie was the message behind it all.
[Note: If you have not yet seen the movie, you may want to watch it before reading this... or if you are like my bff Jess and you don't mind; read on luv ;)]
The whole movie felt so familiar to me. The message resonated so deeply in me because it is exactly how I see things. It is completely honest, and hopeful, and simple enough that we should all technically understand it.
See, the core message (or at least the message I walked away with) was that we are all one. [Very yogic, I know] We are all connected, we all depend on one another in one way or another and even the smallest, most seemingly insignificant of us can make a huge impact in everyone's lives.
It also speaks to the fact that we all, for the most part, forget all this. We tend to go through life ignoring one another, or mocking one another for being different. We even have a tendency to be selfish enough to turn away from one another even when we know we should help simply because we are afraid to show vulnerability.
It was simply amazing to me how every creature in this movie, even the humans, found it in them to participate in at least trying to help at one point or another in the movie. [Ok, the annoying birds may have been the exception to the rule, but there is always someone who simply refuses to see beyond group think or hatred in this world, so...] How they simply opened up their hearts and decided to take a chance. {Sure, some gave up, or were physically incapable to continue helping (e.g. humans having to leave because the snow storm took them far far away, and then turned the ocean to ice, which they could not get through)} But they all try to make a difference at one point or another, which is really lovely. The whole adventure was simply lovely.
It made me wonder what we could do, how we could all change the world if we ever even thought about how inter-connected we are, and about how we should all be there for one another.
It is a bit sad to know that most of us will never be able to break away from the group and think on our own, or let go of our egos to help some one in need, or be honorable enough to simply rescue a stranger at no benefit to our selves, or even that we will never be able to realize how singularly different and special we are as individuals and how we could all work as a whole.
The question of, "Can we as individuals make a difference?" "Can we see beyond our differences and our egos and simply see how incredible we all are?" "Can we honor our word, even when doing so may mean changing our perspective about something?" "Can we realize we are all one?"
I feel blessed to have seen the film. And it made my heart sing, and dance, and fly with joy from the very beginning to the very very end. I only hope that it impacts many. I hope one day we can all realize that these "differences" that we use to hurt and reject one another should be the same differences that could bring us all together.
And I will end this thought in progress (as I keep realizing how many things we need to learn daily... even from cartoons) I will end with this lovely, true quote:
"Human beings by nature want happiness and do not want suffering.  With that
feeling everyone tries to achieve happiness and tries to get rid of suffering, and everyone has the basic right to do this.  In this way, all here are the same, whether rich or poor, educated or uneducated, Easterner or Westerner, believer or non-believer, and within believers whether Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and so on.  Basically, from the viewpoint of real human value we are all the same."-- His Holiness the Dalai Lama, from "Kindness, Clarity, and Insight." 

Om Lokah Samastah Sukino Bhavantu

The Ahimsa Superhero

The Ahimsa Traveling Superhero

It is always a wonderful, yet slightly stressful situation to travel. Not only do you have to deal with the mess at the airport, but you also have to deal with sick people, angry people, drunk people, stinky people, and, well, just people (your self included). And this small toil becomes even greater when you have any type of dietary restriction because it isn’t always possible to get food where you go.

This being my very first year as a traveling yogi, and committed as I am to remaining ahimsa as far as eating a vegetarian diet to stay healthy, it has been an interesting experience to say the least.

The easy part was calling the airline and ordering a special menu for the long flights. I also took some other yogi’s advise into consideration and opted to bring my own snacks in case I got hungry and/or ended up in a place where nothing was available for me to consume. Nothing really complicated or stressful about it, as, thankfully, in many places in Europe, there are now more and more vegetarian options on the menu, which was very helpful, and for the places that didn’t have these options, well, there is always the standard salad to munch on, which is great.

But as the trip went on, I was about to be taught a lesson on ahimsa towards others, as well as (ironically enough, because I have been trying to get a yoga class ready about this topic) learning how to be a superhero for others.

On the third day of this amazing adventure that my family and I have been blessed to be able to embark upon, we were invited to the home of a very dear friend. We have made it a tradition of sorts, in fact, to always stop by her place when we visit the lovely St Petersburg because she is an amazingly gifted chef, and because she is also the sweetest human being you will ever meet.

So, I woke up knowing I would eat some fish (as fish is a big part of Russian cooking, and typically the main, superb dish at this lovely abode) and was at peace and happy with it. I was very excited to be going back to our friend’s house for some lovely company and yummy food.

As expected, the house was as lovely as I remembered, and our dearest, dearest friend was so very happy to see us J (I can assure your, we were just as happy to see her after so many years). It was hard not to smile and laugh, really. We all talked a while, and then proceeded to the table where this master of the kitchen had prepared the most beautiful banquet for us. It was a joy to simply hear her talk about how she had prepared the food, and how long it had taken her, or how much love she had put into every little detail. And as she begins serving the first course (a traditional sour soup) the thought that the soup might have been made with some kind of animal broth came to mind, but was quickly dismissed as our hostess told the story of the Russian soup, and then, the dreaded words no vegetarian, vegan, or ovo-lacto-pescetarian wants to hear… “It has pork” came out.

My heart dropped to the floor. My stomach churned with dislike, and my poor, poor mind was being torn apart. I can’t really explain what went on in my mind. All I can think to say is that all at once, I was in panic mode. Thinking about how I am Jewish and I haven’t had pork since I was six or seven, how I haven’t had meat in ten months, how I am allergic! to pork (not a break out into hives kind of allergy, but a, puke like crazy, get a migraine kind of allergy, which to me is just as bad, since my migraines tend to be horrid). I was simply a mess. A hot, stressed out mess. And I had a matter of seconds to make a choice. I could break my friend’s heart (mind you, she spend all her time, money, effort and love to prepare this banquet, and it was a banquet, just for us… she went out of her way in more ways than I could ever explain in mere words to do this for us) or, I could realize that there was another opportunity for me to be ahimsa toward someone I love. To be a “superhero” for someone who needed a different type of rescuing in her own home.

I looked at my mom (who was also mortified, as her Jewish nature was taking hold as well) I looked at my husband, who looked at me, pleading not to break her heart, and finally, I looked to my brother, who very calmly told me to take out the chunks of piggy off my plate.

Yes, the whole thing had me freaking out bad. And, although everything happened in a matter of seconds, it felt like a lifetime to me. I literally, somehow, had time to think about which ahimsa would be most important, and why. I had time to look at the whole situation through other people’s eyes, and after feeling all the love and all the care our friend had put into the whole thing, I smiled, took the actual meat chunks out of my plate, and ate the typical Russian soup.

I can see how this whole ordeal would make absolutely no sense to most people. In fact, by most people’s standards, I am being a whinny, crazy, drama queen who needs to get off her high horse and simply deal with life. But to someone like my mom (who by the way was also a superwoman this evening by eating the non-kosher soup with a smile on her face… man I love my mom, the woman is so brave) or like myself, this whole ordeal was simply beyond anything we ever imagined, or wanted to endure.

However, what I can say for the both of us; is that we love our friend so much, we were highly aware of what a refusal would have meant. We realized there are different ways of being kind, non-violent, pure, loving, and super.

Sure, the idea was killing us a bit, and lets not even talk about how our stomachs felt, but our souls and hearts were beyond fine; they were uplifted.

We were happy; felt honored, and had saved the day one more time.

It’s amazing what one can learn from life, if one is openhearted enough to learn.

One root of the tree has many ways to feed the whole tree.

OM SHANTI, SHANTI, SHANTI

Mochi Love

Hello all! :)
Wanted to share this delicious breakfast recipe with everyone. It is super delicious, healthy, and will hold hunger at bay for a while ;)

What you will need:
1pack of Mochi [flavor of your choice] (you can buy it at whole foods)
6 Strawberries
6  grapes
Dash of cinnamon
1/4 cupCoconut Milk
1 tbsp Honey
[*Note:Dash of tumeric and ginger (if you want to boost the immune system, or if you have a cold)]

What to do:
(This is the best part. It is super simple)

Gut the mochi into small squares (about 2 to 3 inches is good) and then place the pieces on a waffle maker. While the mochi molds and bakes away in your waffle maker, mix the strawberries, grapes, cinnamon, coconut milk and honey in a blender, magic bullet, etc. (anything that will blend). When the mochi is cooked, take out of waffle maker and drizzle the fruity sauce over it.

That's it!!!! Enjoy :)

The Not So Perfect, Wonderful Day

Ever have one of those days when every little thing seems to be completely and utterly ANNOYING?
Yeah, well, I was having one of those today.
To start with, I was harshly awakened by my overly loving dog, who decided to step all over me and then proceeded to nibble my nose (not bite, mind you, just nibble it enough to wake me up) and then continued to push my face around until I finally gave up, and led her to the backyard so she could take care of business while I tried to come back to life.
When I finally let her back in, I promptly discovered she was totally caked in dirt. So I took a deep breath and washed her up (or tried to wash her while she freaked and scratched me, a lot).
I then went to cook breakfast and managed (not that this is too uncommon by the way) to cut my finger! Thankfully, the cut wasn't too bad, so I simply washed it and moved on... except, two seconds later, I cut another finger :(.
I was running late to drop the crazy, yet lovely dog off so I could make it in time to teach my a.m. restorative yoga class and I got every red light, got cut off by rude people, and managed to hit a curb. [By now, I am having to seriously remind my-self to be present, be open to grace, and not kill anyone]
I finally dropped the little dog off, and ran to the class.
I hit traffic (of course) and suddenly began to laugh. Not a psychotic, "oh, boy, she has cracked" kind of laugh, but a genuine, "this is too funny not to laugh" kind of laugh and I felt great. I was aware of the throbbing on my cut fingers, and the one on the gash my dog left on my shoulder when I was washing her dirty self and I was highly aware of the jerk behind me, who refused to stop tailgating me; and somehow, the simple act of taking a step back, and opening up to grace had changed everything.
I was feeling lighter, happier, and just peaceful. And then, I arrived at the studio and realized I had left the house with out any shoes!!! My face quickly turned red with chagrin, but my head went "Oh, how cute, now you can walk in there with bare feet!"
So, I threw on some socks that happened to be in my car (yes, people, I am highly aware my car is a hot mess, but hey, it was useful today haha) and walked into the studio with a big old smile on my face.
You have to understand that by this point, my usual self would have been embarrassed, pissed, and simply drained of all self-confidence. That is just my usual reaction to these tinny annoyances in life.
So I was quite impressed at the fact that I felt none of these things as I set up my mat at the front of the classroom. I felt quite the opposite, actually. I felt happy, light hearted, confident, optimistic, and even a bit playful. So I used all these wonderful feelings to lead the class. And I have to say, it has been to date, the single most wonderful class I have taught. There was a wonderful energy in the classroom, and  all my little yogy students were brave and open to grace through the whole class. The class ended on such a happy note, I had forgotten all the crazy little inconveniences of the day, and had gone on to have the best day.
Work was lovely, lunch was easy, conversations were comfortable, I mean, the whole day had turned out to be a huge blessing. And then, I felt sickly. My stomach was churning, I wanted to pass out, I felt feverish, etc. I was so upset, I considered skipping my p.m yoga class (one being lead by a wonderful yogi) and simply passing out at home. But for some reason, every time I got up to go home, I simply sat back down, looked at my yoga mat and reconsidered. This little dance went on for a bit, until my mat finally won, and practically drove me, on its own, to the yoga studio. So I walked in happy and giddy again, because I had "showed up" and the class was so very comfortable, lovely, and all around wonderful to me. I was so focused, I really forgot there were other people around me and just followed my breath all the way through.
It is so amazing to me how the littlest things in our lives can make such a huge impact. I keep realizing day by day that it is all ok, all a part of life, all something we should be open to.
Sure, we will have days when that laugh will evade us, and when anger, loneliness, sadness, and a myriad of negative thoughts and emotions will be present in us. But it is what we chose to do with those moments, those emotions, that really matters. We can either choose to sink deeply into them (like Artax on "The Never Ending Story) (and yes, I went there) or, we can choose to push on, to open up to grace, and to be present. 
We can choose to have a not so perfect, wonderful day :)

NAMASTE