Enough!

Allow me to start this blurb by saying I have no idea why, but I feel it is of the utmost importance that I write it down. I can’t explain it, and I don’t know if I feel it is necessary for me alone or for the entire world or even just for a few people to read. All I know is that as soon as I was rescued and my eyes were opened, I ran to grab the computer… and that something deep inside me compelled me to write. That being said; I shall begin.

Have you ever had a nightmare so real you find yourself shaken to the core? All nightmares are horrific, sure, but I am talking about a different brand of nightmare. I’m talking about the kind of nightmare that is so think, so oppressive, so real it makes even your physical body sweat, and tremble, and the worst thing about this nightmare? You cannot wake up!!!

Unfortunately, I know all about this brand of nightmares and just a few hours ago, I was visited by one of the worst I have ever had. Now, don’t worry, I won’t get into all the gory, horrifying details (I think some things are meant only for the self.) But I will say this. Once the standard nightmare made the transition; my whole body felt pinned down (not in the dream, in real life) I couldn’t move, couldn’t really think straight and I was scared; point in fact, I was terrified.

So I did what we all try to do when nightmares assail; I tried to wake up. And for a moment there, I thought I had succeeded. I thought I had woken up at my mom’s house (not that I had even put two and two together mind you and realized that I had slept in my bed at home, next to my hubby all night, but I digress) and as I had been so mortified by the whole dream, I ran downstairs to tell her all about the dream and how scared I had felt. But when I walked into her room and started telling her the tale, she simply looked at me with empty eyes and began complaining about how old and ugly and out of place she was (by the way, if you have ever met my mom, you know neither of these things is even remotely true as she is stunning and livelier than most 30 year olds).

The second my “fake mother” said those words, the fear tried to grip me even tighter. But something strange happened then. The second I realized I was still in the nightmare, fighting for my life, a dormant part of me became alive. And she was calm, and collected, and strong, and she was ready to kick some butt. So, I turned away form my fake mom, and started to make my way toward the door when out of nowhere, two demons (there really is no better way to describe the ugly, insignificant things) came at me teeth bared and claws at the ready. Little did they know, however, that they were no longer dealing with a freight little Sapha. Oh no, this time, they were dealing with me! And so I easily disposed of them. It was a lovely feeling; knowing that I was protected. And that was the thing. See, this “me” knew she wasn’t alone; she knew she meant something, was something more than met the eye. This “me” felt the presence of God all around her, and declaring herself to be a daughter of The Most High, she simply disposed of the evil around her. And then, I took one look in the mirror, and saw ME. Not the self I have seen in pictures or in mirrors since I was a kid. No, this was I, and she was beautiful, and strong, and fearless, and she made me smile. I could have stayed there a while, talking to her; in fact I wanted to. Wanted to ask her why she was so different from “me” and what she thought, felt, etc. But no sooner had I seen her that we (both the reflection and the woman moving through this nightmare with authority) were off.

We made our way out of the room where the demons had once tried to assail us, and into what seemed to be the very core of my brain. It was a strange place, and got even stranger when we screamed at the very top of our lungs, “Enough!”

The whole room (or brain, or whatever it was) reverberated with the sound. “Enough!” we yelled again. “We will no longer cower in fear, nor will we hide from our selves, nor will we demean our selves or feel bad for ourselves.” Then more “mes” came around every corner of the brain and stared in shock. “We are enough! We are protected by God himself and we are no longer going to bow to the demons that assail us; they will run before us because we are protected. We are not petty, insignificant beings. We are protected. We are beautiful, strong gifted, talented, and we are protected.”

Then at that moment, a feeling of need overcame me. I felt I needed to write about this. I didn’t know why, it made no sense, but I needed to. So I tried to wake up again, and found I was still unable to completely come out of the dream, so I tried to cry out for help, but all that came out was a small whimper. But that whimper was heard by my husband, who ever so kindly woke me up, and hugged me until I had finally rejoined the world of the living again. He smiled gently and then went about his morning business as I ran for the computer to write this all down before I forgot (as we tend to forget dreams the second we wake up). I went for the computer in order to write this with no particular purpose, but knowing there was one I could not see. So if you are reading this and have been helped by it, then I am glad. If you read it and gained nothing, that is ok too. I don’t know whom this message is intended to, but I had to write it down. Now I have, and I am glad I did; for myself.

I would never want to forget that I am protected, that I am loved, that I am beautiful and strong and that I am done with misguided perceptions of myself. I am done!

If you read my very first blog. Then you know I have had quite the year, and that I have been fighting to change my perspective of myself for the better. You know that I have been fighting the eating disorder self and have been replacing it with a different outlook.

Well, the battle rages on inside me, and I am well armed. I am no longer a victim of “perception” I am simply ME. If the media thinks I am too fat to act, let them. If the world thinks I am weak and insignificant, let them. If I had forgotten myself along the way, no more! I remember now. I remember even more clearly than I did the day my angel showed me so much more than I knew. It was her guidance, and all that I learned that day that made the “me” in the dream that strong, that beautiful, that lively, and that “ME”.

Too long have I been ruled by others’ perceptions of me and the world around me. Too long have I forgotten that I am protected and that I matter. Too long have I forgotten the “me” inside. So, once more I cry out, “Enough!”

And when times come, where I begin to forget again, I shall count on God to send me angels, nightmares, etc. to wake me up again. It is all a part of the journey, and I am open to grace, so I am ready to take this journey where it may lead me. Are you?

"It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles." Buddha

Healthy Travels

As some of you know, traveling has now become a part of my routine. And, having been used to getting sick every time I came back or went on long trips (or even short trips, come to think if it), I became a sort of fanatic for trying to find ways to stay healthy while I travel. And, since I received a request from my bff Jess to write a blog about my "findings" I decided to comply and share the knowledge. I hope it helps.
The very first thing that you need to keep in mind when you travel is that you will be surrounded and sometimes even engrossed by stress and germs. So, the first thing you need to do is work on de-stressing and fortifying. (Oh, and please bring plenty of hand sanitizer along)
My number one recommendation is, of-course, doing yoga. If you are not an avid yogi already, then I recommend you try to do yoga for at least 45 to 60 minutes anywhere from three to six times per week. (I like to practice 6 days a week, but you know your own body better than anyone, so you be the judge for your own practice). If you haven't really been practicing and your trip is tomorrow, then go through a lovely heart opening and hip opening flow the day of your travel. (Since you will most likely be trapped in a tiny space for a while, the space you give your body before hand as you do your practice this day will be very important to keep you sane, relaxed, and stretched.)If you still feel like you don't have enough time to do this, then try to simply sit in meditation for a few minutes each day, and maybe add some breathing techniques through out your day, and through out your travels. (Research pranayama techniques online or ask a yogi for some tips on how to do this)
The next thing I have been doing to help my immune system out is incorporating more probiotics into my diet. (You can buy some at your local groceries store. Usually in the natural foods and vitamins isle) This helps because it aids your system to stay in balance, and balance is key to remain healthy. [More and more researchers are finding that probiotics are a great aid to your immune system, so give them a go :) they are excellent!] Keeping this in mind. I recommend that you begin taking your lovely probiotics at least a week or two before you travel. And I usually will take two every morning.
Also at the top of my list is drinking plenty of fluids. The closer it gets to "D"day, the more water I drink. The reason is, while you are up in the air, you will actually lose quite a substancial amount of water, so keeping hydrated is very important. For this same reason (and because you really shouldn't to begin with) it is not recommended to eat tons of greasy food before you leave. Instead, try to eat lots of yummy greens and fruits that will help boost your immune system [and for vain reasons, will also have you looking your best for all those pictures you are sure to be taking]
Try to incorporate healing items that will also boost your immune system into your cooking, or buy a couple of them as pills that you can take daily. Examples of these are: Tumeric, dill, garlic, cinnamon, coriander, cumin, ginger, elderberry, celery seeds, and the ever famous echinacea. Another great tip and help is to bring tea with you. (I recommend echinacea tea, green tea, and relaxing mixes from your favorite tea brands) This way, if you are mid-flight or mid-drive and you begin to feel a bit off or a bit of that annoying tingle in the back of your throat, you can ask the flight attendant (or stop at a gas station) for some hot water, and vuala, instant immune system boost and comfort :)
Also important (and easy to find in delicious fruits and veggies) are vitamins A, B2, B12, B6, Z, D and E. And, yes, you may also get these in pill form just to give your already good veggie eating habits a boost ;) Bringing a pack of Emergen-C or two with you is also highly recommended.
Eating properly at your destination, breathing and doing yoga are also key. So, remember, even vacations can be stressful and this is why you need to continue to stretch, relax, breathe and nurture your body.
As this is travel season, I trully hope all these tips have helped and wish all of you a safe journey wherever you may be traveling :)

Colds are a knokin'. Now what?

It is most definitely getting colder, and yes, when everyone around you is getting sick, you always run the risk of catching a cold, or the flu (even the healthiest, most athletic of people can catch these annoying diseases by the by). So, what should you do?

There are the standard, and pretty logical answers. You know; the "wash your hands every chance you get and carry disinfectant with you" and the "lots of vitamin C"  and the ever so popular "get lots of sleep and rest" but is there more you can do? The answer is YES, there is.
For starters, diminish the amount of greasy food you are consuming (nope, those fries will not help you get any healthier... I know, shoker)
Make sure you are eating PLENTY of green, leafy veggies (Some of my faves are, of course, kale and spinach. But there are plenty more leaves in the sea my friends, and they are all good for you, so do not neglect them... in fact, eat a ton of them) 
Sure, get a lot of vitamin C, but also, you need lots of vitamin A and B, so, either get some supplements, or, if you want to taste these healthy vitamins, get to juicing ;)
Have a nice, warm breakfast filled with fruits, and a bit of whole grains. (Believe me, there is nothing better)
You definitely want to rest; but, there are many ways in which to give your body  break (besides sleeping and napping). Take one or two restorative yoga classes a week for example. Or simple get some pranayama (breathing) or meditating going. Believe me, stress needs more than sleep to be defeated.

So, what if you have been doing all this and still manage to catch a "bug"?
Well, for starters, do not force yourself to go to the gym if you feel feverish, nauseous, weak or dizzy.
Do, however, make time to do some lovely pranayama, meditation and healing asaanas (In this case, colds come from too much Kapa, so you would do lots of back bends, inversions, heart openers, hip openers, balance and forward folds)
Also, the usual "chicken broth" (if you are a meat-etarian) or "veggie broth" (if you are a vegetarian, vengan, ovo-lacto or pescetarian)  will do wonders. But, be sure to add lots of dill, celery seeds,turmeric, ginger, cinnamon, coriander, cumin and garlic to the broth. [By the way, these spices are fantastic to add to your food on a regular basis as prevention as well, so go buy a ton of them]
Also, you want to drink lots of green tea, echinacea tea, ginger tea, chamomile tea, or elderberry tea [You can also get these in the form of pills and take them through out the day. I usually take two pills per meal.]
Did I mention garlic? because it is the best stuff!
Mushrooms! eat lots of mushrooms too. They are amazing! [I love sauteing them with earth balance and a ton of garlic. Then eating them while they are super hot, under the covers to sweat the sickness out]
Use a Neti Pot every morning, even if you are not sick. You will be super happy you did.
Yes, you do need tons and tons of sleep. So please, do not show up to work if you are a mess. You will only feel worst and you will also get everyone else sick... ew!

Well people, those are my "Sapha" tested tips ;) Hope they help you this season.

Stay warm. NAMASTE ♥